Episode 54: 4.21.25
all adventurous women du
Did you miss me?
I just went through two unpublished drafts drafted over the past few months and deleted them both. It’s been a weird Lenten season, and in March everything I bookmarked and drafted some funny quips for fell flat and read as insufferably angry.
Don’t worry about the absence — I’m preparing to move cross-country, so I plan to have 90% more free time and 20% less (eventual) depression this coming summer to dedicate to the grind. Enjoy the trash!
NEWS FIT(ish) TO PRINT:
Another day, another The Cut article to yap about. Writer Sophia Ortega published a piece this week detailing her complicated relationship with eating disorders and the subsequent ghosting of a friend after she found the GLP-1 Wegovy hidden in her friend’s fridge.
While the piece itself is better fodder for armchair therapising than actual prose, the lore is crazy town. The internet read some of her previous work and discovered that she previously had a boyfriend who had a feeder kink and tried to open the relationship to have him “responsibly” interact with that lifestyle.
It’s been a long year for millennials and their open/poly relationships, and I want to shake every woman by the shoulders and say, “hey, if the partner is treating you like a doormat/nanny/mother/cartoon and not a person, maybe dump their ass.” I should definitely have a messy breakup with my friend who uses insulin, though. My mom technically died from kidney failure and I refuse to work that out in therapy. We all know the recovery is nonlinear, but it’s bonkers to give your (ex)boyfriend with a weird feeder fetish more grace than your friend who is on a medication allegedly used by 1 in 8 American adults.
Netflix is making a Gundam movie and Sydney Sweeney will be in it for some reason. As a child, I would’ve never believed that the comics I was made fun of for reading in the back of a 2003 elementary school classroom would make sense for a major entertainment investor to stick their new republican darling into, but here we are.
they really should’ve just committed to the bit and made her asuka langley in a neon genesis evangelion reboot instead While there are girls that poop (Netflix), there are bitches that shit (A24). The latter studio announced yesterday that new Elden Ring movie will host an unofficial Bottoms (2023) reunion with Havana Rose Liu and Ruby Cruz.
i was too much of a scaredy cat to play the game, but i will be excited to watch this from the comfort of my couch with the lights on in 2028 if we still have tvs or lights or couches. If you need a pick-me-up, Jimmy Carter’s daughter gifted Cardi B a signed autobiography from her dad and it was really sweet.
It’s mindboggling knowing that so many conspiracy theories this year have been confirmed true — all of the epstein stuff, havana syndrome (not to be confused with liking aforementioned actress havana rose liu a little too much, but that was also confirmed true for me from the first minute she appeared on screen), billionaires coming up with new ways to kill us in their Outlook emails, and the Lorde/Lena Dunham/Jack Antonoff PowerPoint.
Lena Dunham’s memoir Famesick came out this month and holy shit I could not put it down. I highly suggest reading it if you were chronically online in 2011 and an avid GIRLS (HBO) watcher. In it, Dunham mentions a 2010s fan-made PowerPoint that convinced her that maybe something romantically toxic was happening in her boyfriend’s music studio while she was in and out of the hospital.
the cut is always at the scene of the crime I could talk about the good and bad about her for hours, and I’m going to spare y’all from that horror, but I will say that I’ve never seen such a human embodiment of the hate we have for our own insecurities, mistakes and cringe.
I specifically loved the moment in Famesick when Lena describes shooting one of the final scenes of the show with Adam Driver with an actively broken elbow. It hit when I was fresh out of college, and as I’ve aged, it hits harder now as I’ve had to say goodbye (and will say goodbye) to so many people I love during this moving process. That and The Panic in Central Park.
While Reese Witherspoon is shilling out for big AI, her Big Little Lies s1-3 costar and queen of our hearts (and theaters), Nicole Kidman, is becoming a death doula.
When she said she has never woken up in a bad mood, I believe it. I’ll believe anything she says. Coachella was pleasantly, mildly interesting. I’m not going to touch too much on it, here’s my speed round: Sabrina’s set looked fun except for that time she stepped right into a The Other Two-style faux pas, Justin Bieber can honestly do whatever he wants after his nightmare of a life and although I’m not a fan, I think it’s great that he did YouTube karaoke on stage, HYBExGeffen should fire their entire PR/marketing/leadership team after the sloppy Katseye debacle and it’s cute that PinkPantheress had rumored-ex-Katseye member Manon on stage with her, and The Strokes were great for putting anti-fascist political messages on screen during their second set.
he’s just like us As I’m writing this, the South Korean government just put an arrest warrant out for the head of HYBE for investment fraud. Oh, I bet!!!!!!! God, I would pay a million dollars to be in the Katseye groupchat right now.
I said I wasn’t going to get into it, but “Girl Group” breakups are the pillars of generational culture. We all know where we were when the likes of the Spice Girls, Pussycat Dolls and Fifth Harmony fractured and/or dissolved. TL;DR, the “aesthetic one”/visual for Katseye named Manon has been put on a “wellness hiatus” that probably is just a firing, but they probably can’t fire her for brand partnership contract reasons, so the management company has been wielding their “will they/won’t they” firing announcement like a knife for over a month now. The streets are saying that the controversy was timed perfectly to build hype for their Coachella show, and it wasn’t wrong.
the sad part here is that leaving this management system will be the best thing to happen to any of them and i wish them all the best to leave on their own terms. the expose ten years from now will be ELECTRIC If you have eight hours and a weekend, please watch the Katseye origin story documentary series on Netflix because it is WILDLY entertaining (and horrifying) even for folks outside of the greater KPop industry, and the show details a LOT of what the current music industry is like (or morphing into) behind the scenes. Speaking of Pop Star Academy: KATSEYE survivors…
NOW LISTENING:
Way back in 2022 I remember telling people to check out Chappell Roan’s “My Kink is Karma” after it dropped and said she was going to be the next Lady Gaga. Well, listen to me again when I say for the 10th time that Adéla’s up next.
She won me over in Pop Star Academy: KATSEYE and I’m SO happy she’s getting the recognition she deserves while opening for Demi Lovato this spring. KGB dropped last week, and although it’s not my favorite song of hers, it’s still a better song than anything Katseye has produced.